Flu fit for a king

Just in case it seems like JFG and I live a wildly-exciting life, full of glamorous celebrities and hob-knobbing with royalty, you should see me now.

For the second time in two months, I have the flu. Not a cold, the flu. I creak around the office, refuse to shake hands, try not to lean over people and pretend that I'm going to actually leave the office early. I've had toast for dinner for a couple of nights in a row and can't be bothered to put clothes away. It's pathetic.

Here's my office-mates' interpretations of the situation: I am being exposed to dangerous, predatory European bugs to which my weak and untested American system is absurdly vulnerable. This does, of course, bring to mind Pocahontas and all of the other foreigner that Europeans brought back to the UK from their travels and accidentally killed with minor viruses. Whoops.

It also makes me wonder what these small, closed-in towns were like when the plague hit. The outer edges of Scotland managed to rebuff the Black Death -- at least the island's first bout with it -- simply because of the thinly-spread populations and the cold, which tended to put the virus into hibernation. However, as towns like St Andrews became popular pilgrimage sites and as the bacteria had to travel further and further to find people with susceptible immune systems, plague became a more familiar occurrence.

Fortunately, these days, Scotland is a country that still sells Pseudoephedrine without CIA clearance. You can get some decent painkillers over the counter, and no one thinks much of dosing with sherry. Plus people here still use hot water-bottles for warmth and comfort when feeling, well, "peaked" as my boss described me this morning (what to get for the person who has everything? A stripey, knitted hot water-bottle cover, of course).

Too sore to sleep. Too tired not to sleep. All I can say is that it is a darn good thing I didn't meet Kate and Wills. Their illness immediately after their St Andrews visit could have caused an international incident. Dodged a bullet there.